Brains or Beauty? Are brains necessarily more important for a love that lasts?

What are the Essentials of the right kind of love towards a Successful Marriage?

 Photo: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Happy Valentine’s Day.

In this two section follow up on a previous blog about Brains or Beauty sponsored by Brands Essence of Chicken, we would like to update viewers with comments from a couple of married men on what they observed men look for in a spouse and their personal views below.

While a couple of men SIMPLY BEAUTY spoke to (and preferred not to be quoted) said that intelligence in a woman has nothing to do with her educational level, they do expect to marry someone with whom they can have intelligent conversations. Some of whom have mentioned that they have met women who did not manage to achieve an A level certificate, but are intelligent, wise and matured in the way they manage situations and conduct themselves well, and are certainly a potential life partner.

What a father of two primary school going kids observed about men in relationships when they are in their 20 and 30s?

J Teo, 40s, managing director of a trans-regional real estate company

I think men in their 20s are still seekers and mostly in dating mode. Not much committed.

Men in 30s would be more sophisticated and probably more certain in the type of companion. Probably found within same social circle.

And yes more likely to be seeking a life partner.

A happily married father of three girls in his forties gave his take on what he looked for in a life partner

L Lim, 40s, IT Manager

What did you look for in a life partner?

Answer: Godly woman, i.e. with Godly values (I actually prayed for this as top priority before I even knew my wife)

Would you think that men should marry when in their 20s? Why and why not?

Answer: No, Men shouldn't marry in early 20s, as they are too young to understand responsibility and may not have the resilience to persevere through stormy relationship. Not too late beyond 35, since they are less likely to get into relationships with work commitments.

Valentine’s Day

Commercially, this day has been described as one where girls go all mushy and courting couples go lovey-dovey with gift exchanges and romantic dinners. It doesn't highlight beauty or one's intelligence.

But looking beyond all these, Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love and just what is the love that will sustain a marriage through the tough and good times?

Other than the values that one holds on to that will affect a marriage, perhaps the universal definition of love from the Bible summarising what you should see in your potential partner in his/her attitude and behaviour towards you and his friends and what you should work towards in possessing:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

⁵ It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New International Version (NIV)

Perhaps there is no true or false answer to love that leads to a successful marriage, but only time will tell, how each individual's values, beliefs and behaviour add to a marital relationship. So would you seek advice from elders whom you trust and go for a longlasting marriage, or take a chance?

#Brands #Jason Teou #Larry Lim